Are you living?

With restless nights about broken dreams Playing to the yearning of this moment Not of what it is but all that it could be We toss and turn to find solace within

The last couple of weeks have been a good time to reflect on some choices and largely realizing the significant shift in how we make them today.

The dichotomy of the 2 concepts– “live in the moment” and “delayed gratification” — often leaves me perturbed, not knowing which of the two should define the choices I make.

We live in a time when attention spans are shorter (I hope I haven’t lost yours yet), patience runs out faster than ever and we want to see results before our actions even play out.

We want to consume, all the time — we find audio books so we can gobble up more information while multitasking, apps with shorter videos designed for our ever reducing attention span and the constant flow of articles and information on all our chat threads leaving us little time to think about all that we read. I don’t know if this is a quest for living in the now and maximizing every moment or something else. Over time, I realize I hear more than I listen and take in more information than knowledge. How then, I ask, am I truly in the moment and not giving up gratification as I run to the next experience without absorbing the last one?

I often justify the lack of patience to wait for outcomes as allowing momentary gratification since everyone talks about life being short and/ or unpredictable. But I realize in the stillness of the last few weeks that it’s the wait that makes being so much better than doing. Living in the moment isn’t always what you gain but perhaps what you choose to let go. There have been lesser outings but greater connections, four corners of the house but the warmth of family at home, fewer updates to share but more thoughts to ponder upon.

It has taken me some time to realize that living has more meaning to it than what meets the eye. While experiences make for great anecdotes, true gratification comes from moments which are lived beyond the stories one can narrate or pictures that one can capture.

As Meryl Streep says, “Instant gratification is not soon enough”. I hope I finally choose to stop chasing it and savour what remains in the acceptance of what is.